Glenn Quagmire
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
10 Yo Momma Jokes That Will Make You ROFLMAO!
10. Yo Momma so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please.
9. Yo Momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.
8. Yo Momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
7. Yo Momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
6. Yo Momma so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
5. Yo Momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
4. Yo Momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
3. Yo Momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell.
2. Yo Momma so fat she's on both sides of the family.
1. Yo Momma so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
9. Yo Momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.
8. Yo Momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
7. Yo Momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
6. Yo Momma so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
5. Yo Momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
4. Yo Momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
3. Yo Momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell.
2. Yo Momma so fat she's on both sides of the family.
1. Yo Momma so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
Monday, April 26, 2010
10 Dating Don'ts
10. “Never fight over a girl.”
9. “Don't let people catch you punching inanimate objects.”
8. “Buy flowers for the women in your life.”
7. “Know how to make scrambled eggs”
6. “Buy your laid-off friend a beer.”
5. “Don't get mad, get even.”
4. “The value of silence.”
3. “Drink liquor straight.”
2. “Always have duct tape handy.”
1. “Don't be afraid to dance.”
9. “Don't let people catch you punching inanimate objects.”
8. “Buy flowers for the women in your life.”
7. “Know how to make scrambled eggs”
6. “Buy your laid-off friend a beer.”
5. “Don't get mad, get even.”
4. “The value of silence.”
3. “Drink liquor straight.”
2. “Always have duct tape handy.”
1. “Don't be afraid to dance.”
You Can "like" DBAF on facebook too!
go ahead, show the world how great this is by publicly announcing it in their news feed. They will love you for it.
"Like" it here
"Like" it here
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Starting today, the 12 days of lists.
Starting today, with the previous post about college stereotypes. There will be the 12 days of facebook lists. Every day, a new page to of lists. Stay tuned to see them all.
10 People You Will Definitely Meet in College
1. The Frat Bro- Who's down for some Natty ice?
2. The Sorority Girl- Sings the theme song for Kappa Kappa Gamma 24/7 and wears pink head to toe
3. The Co-op Hipster- rides a fixie, eats organic foods, probably does adderall
4. The Crusty Engineer Nerd- has acne, once hacked into the school website and wrote “YOU GOT PWNED” on the homepage
5. The Jesus Lover- carries a Bible everywhere and holds weekly church dinners
6. The Feminist Activist- unshaven pits and legs+ hates all men
7. The Athlete- Only got in for his athletic ability
8. The Artsy Guy- Into obscure poetry and playing ancient instruments
9. The Stoner- Provides dank grass for the entire college campus
10. That Old Guy- is 45 but still goes to college, loves sharing life experiences during class discussions while everyone else rolls their eyes
2. The Sorority Girl- Sings the theme song for Kappa Kappa Gamma 24/7 and wears pink head to toe
3. The Co-op Hipster- rides a fixie, eats organic foods, probably does adderall
4. The Crusty Engineer Nerd- has acne, once hacked into the school website and wrote “YOU GOT PWNED” on the homepage
5. The Jesus Lover- carries a Bible everywhere and holds weekly church dinners
6. The Feminist Activist- unshaven pits and legs+ hates all men
7. The Athlete- Only got in for his athletic ability
8. The Artsy Guy- Into obscure poetry and playing ancient instruments
9. The Stoner- Provides dank grass for the entire college campus
10. That Old Guy- is 45 but still goes to college, loves sharing life experiences during class discussions while everyone else rolls their eyes
FEEL SORRY FOR THE FERRARI NOT FOR THIS DRUNK DRIVER!
Unfortunately, this group is a fake. You will not ever be able to see the picture, no matter how many times you invite your friends. This applies to any fan page or group as well. Once you are a member, you can see any picture in the group.
But, a kind fan did post this picture which you may also enjoy.
But, a kind fan did post this picture which you may also enjoy.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
The 10 Lies Girls Tell Guys All The Time !
This one required a lot of effort so you'd better all enjoy it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. I trust you
2.I don't like attention from other men.
3.It doesn't bother me if you look at other women.
4.It doesn't matter how much you make.
5.You're the best I've ever had!
6.Size doesn't matter, it's how you use it!
7.Your friends are great! I don't mind if they come over.
8.I don't mind if you go to a strip club with your friends
9.Nothing is wrong, I'm OK
10.Its just gonna take 10 more mins to put my makeup on
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. I trust you
2.I don't like attention from other men.
3.It doesn't bother me if you look at other women.
4.It doesn't matter how much you make.
5.You're the best I've ever had!
6.Size doesn't matter, it's how you use it!
7.Your friends are great! I don't mind if they come over.
8.I don't mind if you go to a strip club with your friends
9.Nothing is wrong, I'm OK
10.Its just gonna take 10 more mins to put my makeup on
I bet this guy regrets getting this tattoo! (NO SURVEY)
AND, what it will look like when he is older.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
25 Fun Things To Do At McDonald’s
1. Sit in a corner and pretend like you’re making out with yourself. (This works even better when 2 people are doing it separately.)
2. Pay entirely in pennies.
3. Tell them you require three copies of the receipt for filing reasons.
4. Order a shake, and tell them you want bacon with it. If they say no, complain loudly for others to hear, and scream out, "I guess you really don't wana see me smile do you, because right now I don't exactly feel like smiling in light of the extenuating circumstances!"
5. Ask to see the manager, then complain to him about all of life’s problems. If they don’t let you talk to the manager, walk out muttering, “You're gonna be reading about this in the papers.”
6. While you’re in line, jump up and down like you’re having a spazz attack and scream repeatedly, “YO QUIERO TACO BELL!”
7. Sell White Castle food in the restrooms. Then when people get food poisoning you can blame it on McDonald’s.
8. Walk in wearing a Burger King hat. (Great when 3 or 4 people do this at the same time.)
9. Bring in a fart machine and keep setting it off, meanwhile making comments like, “Man, I knew I shouldn’t have eaten here.”
10. Return your food and tell them you’re allergic to nuclear waste mixed with gasoline byproducts.
11. Bring in a video camera and tell them they’re live on 20/20. (You should see the looks on their faces!)
12. Stand on a table with a megaphone and whenever somebody complains say, “This isn’t Burger King, you can’t have it your way.”
13. Flood the soda fountain machine. (It’s more interesting than flooding toilets.)
14. Walk to the drive-thru window and order. (If you really wanna tick ‘em off, skateboard.)
15. Take about 30 or so straws and blow all the wrappers at people. If anyone gives you a look, act a bit too innocent.
16. Speak gibberish, and act confused when they try to tell you that they don’t know how to speak gibberish too.
17. Chuck something at one of the employees. (I bet you five bucks they chuck it back.)
18. Chuck Skittles, M&Ms, or other small candy back into the cooking area.
19. Take two bites out of your burger, then tell the employee it’s cold and ask for a new one. Then repeat. And repeat. And repeat.”
20. Act like a schizo while you’re ordering. (“I’ll have a cheeseburger.” “No, chicken nuggets!” “Cheeseburger!”) Slap yourself to make it look convincing.
21. Climb on top the Play Place. When they tell you to come down, fall off and pretend your hurt, then threaten to sue.
22. When it’s your turn to order, start a conversation with the employee. Ask them how was their day, etc. When someone gets ticked and calls for the manager, scram, or start a conversation with him too.
23. Try to stuff your coins sideways into the charity box. Then when they don’t fit, start complaining loudly about how McDonald’s is so greedy and how they’re ripping off their charities. (Act really outraged about it.)
24. Try to bribe an employee for cheaper food. If they give in, call the manager. (Keep any food they gave you, though.)
25. Walk in and go sit down in a seat, then grab the little table advertisement thingy, (you know what I'm talking about, the triangular thingy by the salt and pepper, yeah that.) Well look at it turning it over and over and then say defiantly, "I know what I'm going to order, I'm ready!" After about five minutes, scream out, "Waiter!" Then after about five more minutes get up, and stomp out of the restaurant with the advertisement thingy. Then turn arround, come back in, and throw the advertisement thingy at the cashier and yell, "Your service sucks! You just lost yourself a customer, you hear that! A customer! Your not gonna see me smile!"
25 Fun Things To Do At McDonald’s
2. Pay entirely in pennies.
3. Tell them you require three copies of the receipt for filing reasons.
4. Order a shake, and tell them you want bacon with it. If they say no, complain loudly for others to hear, and scream out, "I guess you really don't wana see me smile do you, because right now I don't exactly feel like smiling in light of the extenuating circumstances!"
5. Ask to see the manager, then complain to him about all of life’s problems. If they don’t let you talk to the manager, walk out muttering, “You're gonna be reading about this in the papers.”
6. While you’re in line, jump up and down like you’re having a spazz attack and scream repeatedly, “YO QUIERO TACO BELL!”
7. Sell White Castle food in the restrooms. Then when people get food poisoning you can blame it on McDonald’s.
8. Walk in wearing a Burger King hat. (Great when 3 or 4 people do this at the same time.)
9. Bring in a fart machine and keep setting it off, meanwhile making comments like, “Man, I knew I shouldn’t have eaten here.”
10. Return your food and tell them you’re allergic to nuclear waste mixed with gasoline byproducts.
11. Bring in a video camera and tell them they’re live on 20/20. (You should see the looks on their faces!)
12. Stand on a table with a megaphone and whenever somebody complains say, “This isn’t Burger King, you can’t have it your way.”
13. Flood the soda fountain machine. (It’s more interesting than flooding toilets.)
14. Walk to the drive-thru window and order. (If you really wanna tick ‘em off, skateboard.)
15. Take about 30 or so straws and blow all the wrappers at people. If anyone gives you a look, act a bit too innocent.
16. Speak gibberish, and act confused when they try to tell you that they don’t know how to speak gibberish too.
17. Chuck something at one of the employees. (I bet you five bucks they chuck it back.)
18. Chuck Skittles, M&Ms, or other small candy back into the cooking area.
19. Take two bites out of your burger, then tell the employee it’s cold and ask for a new one. Then repeat. And repeat. And repeat.”
20. Act like a schizo while you’re ordering. (“I’ll have a cheeseburger.” “No, chicken nuggets!” “Cheeseburger!”) Slap yourself to make it look convincing.
21. Climb on top the Play Place. When they tell you to come down, fall off and pretend your hurt, then threaten to sue.
22. When it’s your turn to order, start a conversation with the employee. Ask them how was their day, etc. When someone gets ticked and calls for the manager, scram, or start a conversation with him too.
23. Try to stuff your coins sideways into the charity box. Then when they don’t fit, start complaining loudly about how McDonald’s is so greedy and how they’re ripping off their charities. (Act really outraged about it.)
24. Try to bribe an employee for cheaper food. If they give in, call the manager. (Keep any food they gave you, though.)
25. Walk in and go sit down in a seat, then grab the little table advertisement thingy, (you know what I'm talking about, the triangular thingy by the salt and pepper, yeah that.) Well look at it turning it over and over and then say defiantly, "I know what I'm going to order, I'm ready!" After about five minutes, scream out, "Waiter!" Then after about five more minutes get up, and stomp out of the restaurant with the advertisement thingy. Then turn arround, come back in, and throw the advertisement thingy at the cashier and yell, "Your service sucks! You just lost yourself a customer, you hear that! A customer! Your not gonna see me smile!"
25 Fun Things To Do At McDonald’s
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
10 Amazing (but true) facts about the Human Body!
1. In an average lifetime, the body produces about 10,000 gallons of saliva.
2.The Human blood travels 60,000 miles a day.
3. Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.
4. Human thigh bones are stronger then concrete
5. The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet.
6. Hair is made from the same substance as nails.
7. Your ears and nose grow throughout your entire life.
8. The entire length of all the eyelashes shed by the average human is 98 feet.
9. The average human blinks 6,205,000 times a year.
10. In an average life time, the human will walk a distance the same as walking around the equator 5 times.
2.The Human blood travels 60,000 miles a day.
3. Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.
4. Human thigh bones are stronger then concrete
5. The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet.
6. Hair is made from the same substance as nails.
7. Your ears and nose grow throughout your entire life.
8. The entire length of all the eyelashes shed by the average human is 98 feet.
9. The average human blinks 6,205,000 times a year.
10. In an average life time, the human will walk a distance the same as walking around the equator 5 times.
Monday, April 19, 2010
50 Amazing (but useless) Facts!
1. The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.
2. Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon.
3. Of all the words in the English language, the word 'set' has the most definitions!
4. What is called a "French kiss" in the English speaking world is known as an "English kiss" in France.
5 ."Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
6. "Rhythms" is the longest English word without a vowel.
7. In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child
8. A cockroach can live 9 days with its head cut off!
9. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
10. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath
11. There is a city called Rome on every continent.
12. The Government of the UK tried to scale my penis.. but they ran out of miles!
13. Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day!
14. Horatio Nelson, one of England's most illustrious admirals was throughout his life, never able to find a cure for his sea-sickness.
15. The skeleton of Jeremy Bentham is present at all important meetings of the University of London
16. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people
17. Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, everytime you breathe!
18. The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump!
19. One quarter of the bones in your body, are in your feet!
20. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different!
21. The first known transfusion of blood was performed as early as 1667, when Jean-Baptiste, transfused two pints of blood from a sheep to a young man
22. Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails!
23. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin!
24. The present population of 5 billion plus people of the world is predicted to become 15 billion by 2080.
25. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
26. Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian, and only one of his testicles worked.
27. Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.
28. Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th."
29. Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it.
30 .On average a hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute.
31. More people are killed each year from bees than from snakes.
32. The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words.
33. More people are allergic to cow's milk than any other food.
34. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.
35. The placement of a donkey's eyes in its' heads enables it to see all four feet at all times!
36. The six official languages of the United Nations are: English, French, Arabic, Chinese, Russian and Spanish.
37. Earth is the only planet not named after a god.
38. It's against the law to burp, or sneeze in a church in Nebraska, USA.
39. You're born with 300 bones, but by the time you become an adult, you only have 206.
40. Some worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food!
41. Dolphins sleep with one eye open!
42. It is possible to sneeze with your eyes open!
43. The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old!
44. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds
45. Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness. She declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not
46. Slugs have 4 noses.
47. Owls are the only birds who can see the colour blue.
48. A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years!
49. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!
50. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain
2. Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon.
3. Of all the words in the English language, the word 'set' has the most definitions!
4. What is called a "French kiss" in the English speaking world is known as an "English kiss" in France.
5 ."Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
6. "Rhythms" is the longest English word without a vowel.
7. In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child
8. A cockroach can live 9 days with its head cut off!
9. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
10. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath
11. There is a city called Rome on every continent.
12. The Government of the UK tried to scale my penis.. but they ran out of miles!
13. Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day!
14. Horatio Nelson, one of England's most illustrious admirals was throughout his life, never able to find a cure for his sea-sickness.
15. The skeleton of Jeremy Bentham is present at all important meetings of the University of London
16. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people
17. Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, everytime you breathe!
18. The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump!
19. One quarter of the bones in your body, are in your feet!
20. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different!
21. The first known transfusion of blood was performed as early as 1667, when Jean-Baptiste, transfused two pints of blood from a sheep to a young man
22. Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails!
23. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin!
24. The present population of 5 billion plus people of the world is predicted to become 15 billion by 2080.
25. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
26. Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian, and only one of his testicles worked.
27. Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.
28. Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th."
29. Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it.
30 .On average a hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute.
31. More people are killed each year from bees than from snakes.
32. The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words.
33. More people are allergic to cow's milk than any other food.
34. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.
35. The placement of a donkey's eyes in its' heads enables it to see all four feet at all times!
36. The six official languages of the United Nations are: English, French, Arabic, Chinese, Russian and Spanish.
37. Earth is the only planet not named after a god.
38. It's against the law to burp, or sneeze in a church in Nebraska, USA.
39. You're born with 300 bones, but by the time you become an adult, you only have 206.
40. Some worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food!
41. Dolphins sleep with one eye open!
42. It is possible to sneeze with your eyes open!
43. The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old!
44. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds
45. Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness. She declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not
46. Slugs have 4 noses.
47. Owls are the only birds who can see the colour blue.
48. A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years!
49. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!
50. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Teenager committed SUICIDE because of THIS status update - Leaked from 2008
I apologize for the fact that it is on a Grey background. This was due to it being on one of those annoying pages which is grayed out until you do 4 surveys and it was difficult to get a screen shot of it any other way.
Hello world
Many of you, may be wondering what this is. This, is a blog dedicated to everyone's favorite facebook phenomena. The "become a fan to see" page. Here, I will personally save you all the trouble associated with wasting your time and the time of your friends who will join only to be let down.
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