Sunday, May 2, 2010

10 Signs You Might Be A D-Bag

10.You spend all your time chasing after a girl, and when she finally sleeps with you, you label her a whore. There's a reason why girl's don't put out on the first date, and it's because of men like you.
9. You're favorite pastime is bragging about all the girls you are bangin'. Maybe you actually are getting as much tail as you say (although probably not), but either way, the chance to brag is almost greater than the orgasm itself.
8. You pretend to be an artful, soul weary, deep thinking, cool dude when in actuality the foundation of your life experience is the lame shit you did in high school, which amounts to jack squat. A douchebag never grows up.
7. You regularly wear button-down shirts open to your navel, or lift up the shirt you are wearing to show off your narcissistic abs. Thank god for club dress codes, or you'd be shirtless in a second.
6. You are unable to flash a normal smile in a photo. Rather, you have to do some pseudo-gang sign to represent whatever supposedly "hard" group of douches you run with accompanied by an equally "hard" face instead of a smile. Also, you're probably a camera whore. Or you take pics of random hot girls you don't even know. Either way, it's all douchey.
5. You truly believe in the "Axe effect" and demonstrate your devotion by liberally spraying yourself before each new female encounter.
4. You refer to yourself in the third person. Enough said.
3. You love to say "That's so gay" or "so-and-so is such a faggot." Your use of homophobic terms probably stems from the fact that you've been repeatedly mistaken to be homosexual due to your heavy use of hair gel and propensity for deep v-necked shirts. Either way, it's just douchey.
2. You love to openly hit on other women while you are out with your girl. Seriously, it's just lame. And will probably ruin your chances of ever getting laid that night.
1. You've been featured on http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

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